A limitless possibilities mindset is essential to thriving and succeeding in a new culture. Damilola Fadulu shares her story of migrating to the UK and how she has built a career around supporting people with ADHD. She is excited about her career path and intends to build a future in this line. She also talks about her misgivings on how kids are acculturated into accepting gender fluidity as a norm. Read her full story here.
My name is Damilola Fadulu, and I have lived in the UK for almost two years. Migrating to a new country was not just a decision; it was a testament to our courage and faith. Leaving the known for the unknown and leaving behind the life you have built to start a new one filled with so much uncertainty takes a special kind of bravery. Yet, we took that leap of faith and migrated to the UK. Upon landing, I faced the challenge of getting a job and accommodation. There was also some culture shock, but in time, I adapted well and embraced the new culture while shunning the elements that were not well suited to me.
Coming from a banking career in Nigeria and having to settle for other kinds of jobs here was not easy. It took a toll on my mental health, and there was the challenge of not allowing these job roles to define me. This challenge is a subtle one that most people do not consciously identify with. Going to work and carrying out the same menial tasks day in and day out can negatively redefine you and shrink your worldview from what it once was. In time, and if you are not conscious, you begin to see yourself in the light of those menial jobs, and your mind starts to accept this as the totality of your person – until you become trapped. This explains why some people stay for years in job roles, they are much too qualified for without having much to show. I noticed that this would happen to me if I didn’t consciously fight it, so every day, I would tell myself that this job was just for a time and that I would get bigger and better jobs soon.
I also found the power of positive affirmations, which I had learned from my church in Nigeria, very instrumental. I will positively affirm myself in the light of God’s word and remind myself that these challenges are an opportunity to get the necessary experience and will be a stepping stone to bigger things for me. In time, I bagged my master’s degree in Business Management and got a job supporting people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
The job grew on me, and in time, it became more than a job; it became a source of joy and fulfilment. Knowing that I was making a difference in people’s lives and assisting people with learning disabilities brought me immense satisfaction. It has been an amazing experience as I have grown more skilled in understanding and communicating with my clients. This has given me much insight into how to help them better. I have developed a passion for this line of work, and I see myself fully established in this career path soon.
Looking back on my experience, I am grateful for how far I have come, and how I have adapted well to my new home. Again, while the system is open and friendly, some parts of the belief system are at variance from what I know to be the truth. The primary issue, however, is when people try to shove this belief system down my throat and are offended when I give a contrary opinion. I find that some schools in the UK tell kids that they can change their identity to be boys or girls, thereby encouraging the notion of gender fluidity and gender identity. I am grateful that the government has taken a stand to say that schools in England should not teach gender identity. This is because kids who come from different cultures will find it confusing.
My words of encouragement for women of colour who are migrants to the UK is to have a limitless possibilities mindset. We should believe in ourselves and our abilities. We should not let the temporary challenges of settling into a new culture cloud our judgment and make us forget who we are. Don’t underestimate the power of positive self-talk, and always see the bigger picture and make sacrifices to get there. The word of God says All things are possible to those who believe. The word impossible can be redefined to mean I’m possible; it is just a matter of perspective. Please find time to rest, have fun, and practice self-care even as we push ourselves to be more and achieve more. Also, surround yourself with people who affirm and encourage you, and in time, you will blossom and thrive.
Damilola tells her story from Plymouth, UK.
