Abiodun Idowu relocated to the UK twenty years ago. About six years later, she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and other complications like thalassemia and osteomalacia. Despite these life-altering illnesses, Abi has stood strong and remained optimistic in the face of these daunting challenges. This is her story.
The UK has been my home for the last twenty years. Relocating to the UK was easy and was primarily influenced by three factors. The first is that I am an artist, and the Nigerian environment did not encourage artists to thrive then; the second is that I was involved with some social activism back in Nigeria, and my family thought it was safer to leave the country. The third but not the least reason is the God factor. I believe it was God’s will for me to explore greener pastures.
My cousin, who facilitated my relocation to the UK, died three years after I arrived. I have a sister who had long been estranged from the family and did not show much concern for me, and four years after I arrived in the UK, I fell sick.
The diagnosis took about two years to ascertain; this is because fibromyalgia does not present itself as a regular disease and takes a long time to diagnose. For about two years, I did not have control over my body; I could not feed myself, couldn’t walk and did not have the strength to do rudimentary tasks. Luckily for me, at that time, I had a fiance who loved me very much, and he was my full-time carer. He would cook my meals, feed me, and help me go to the bathroom when needed, and when I was getting better, things fell apart in our relationship. This happened because he was a white guy, and his family did not like the idea of him being with a woman of African descent, especially one with health issues. When they saw that we had begun planning for our wedding, they fought hard to break us up. Again, being a wealthy family, they threatened to disown him and keep him estranged from his niece. Based on this, we had no choice but to go our separate ways. When I could resume work, I had to use a mobility scooter, I could not move things as needed at work, and my hours were cut. I would work for four hours and be exhausted after work. Then, for a year, I was on sick leave, after which I returned to work, but reintegrating myself into the corporate world was tough and challenging, and eventually, I had to leave.
I got better in time and began to help in my community. At my old neighbourhood at Castle Street, I engaged in volunteer work to curb the vices of prostitution and drug peddling on the streets. We exposed men who patronized prostitutes by flashing torchlights in their faces so they would drive off in shame, and we also embarked on citizen’s arrests for drug traffickers. We took their pictures and published them in a local magazine, and in this way, we were able to clear the streets of prostitutes and drug peddlers – making our community safer for all. I volunteered at the local radio station, where I now have my show; I also volunteered with the African Coalition and at the library, where I taught older people how to use the computer. I have also volunteered as a tour guide around Bolton for new students who came into the country. I have since moved into a new neighbourhood which is wheelchair accessible, making movement more manageable for me.
Thinking back on my life in the UK, I would have done things quite differently. I started off working four jobs in addition to being a student. My daily schedule was hectic, and I believed I had to make a lot of money to send back to the people at home. So, I would wake up by 4 am and by 5 am, I had to be at the bus stop for the staff van, which would pick us up and take us to the factory where I worked from 6 am to 9 am. After this, I will go to school for my classes because I was running a masters programme. From here, I will go to my second job at a care home as a laundry assistant, which begins around 1 pm and continues until 4 pm. I will then take a little break after this. My third job was as an Insurance customer care advisor at the Coop group, where I worked from 5 pm until 10 pm. My last job was as a cleaner in a bank. It was after hours, and I would sweep and clean till midnight. After my shift, I would take the bus or ask my roommate to pick me up. This was my daily schedule for four years, except for the factory job, which I replaced with another cleaning job. Thinking back, I would have taken better care of my health and communicated clearly to my family back home what I could give and not give. My doctors firmly believe that the stress accumulated during these years adversely affected my health. The sad thing is when I fell ill, my family did not know how sick I was and did not handle the situation with the seriousness it demanded. However, in time, they became more supportive and helped me through the worst aspects of the illness.
During all of this, I took an inventory of my life and remembered the days I used to earn great money as a performance artist and published writer, and I began to ask God for his will regarding my next move. I felt led to start a crafts business – handmade cards. People began ordering and paying good money for them, and in time, my brand, Pepperz 357, was born. Now, my health is slightly better; I am acting again and can engage in many activities I love.
I encourage anyone going through any challenge to hang in there. God did not promise us an easy life. What He said is that He will never leave nor forsake us. This means that even in that challenge, God is with us and watching over us to ensure that the challenge does not consume us. Today, I see God’s grace and goodness in my life. I have grants and provisions from the government that most people don’t access, and I realize that my generosity and kindness have reaped this reciprocity. Though I am not making as much money as I used to, I am just grateful to be alive and be able to wake up in the mornings to the gentle caress of the sun’s rays on my face. I was 30 years old when I became sick, and I have lived with this condition for 17 years. My only family here are my younger brother and niece, whom I have adopted.
In all this, I remain cheerful, optimistic and simply grateful to God for life, and I have turned the lemons that life has given me into a tall glass of lemonade.
Abiodun tells her story from Manchester, UK.
